How You Can Feel More Manly In Today's World

Welcome back. I'd like to start this off with a story. So, I have a friend whom I was meeting for lunch the other day. When I got to his place, his wife answered the door and told me my buddy was in the back room. As I approach, I walk in on him having a tea party with his four year old daughter, pinky extended with a comically undersized English hat and all. It was hilarious, with his tattooed arms and thick beard, but his reaction was the best part: he was calm, just looked at me with a big smile and said, “Ready to go?”

That was it! The guy was doing one of the least stereotypically masculine things one can imagine, yet I left there with the distinct impression this guy is a raging badass. And that, my friends, is the key to masculinity. Confidence, calm, collected, don’t-give-a-damn confidence.

Focus on what’s important to you, whether it be honing your strengths, improving your weaknesses, or a combo of both. Don’t be afraid to be a nerd or a gym-rat, and if you lean more one way than another, don’t be afraid to try something new.

Becoming a well-rounded person inherently improves your confidence, and with it, you will build a virtuous cycle of you accomplishing more, feeling more confident, and so on. Manliness comes from action, from doing that which defines you as a man.

Whether that be curling dumbbells or writing code, running a marathon or drawing superheroes, do it, work at it, set goals for yourself, and slowly get one accomplishment after another under your belt.

And crucially, being and feeling like a man means giving yourself permission to not overly care about what others think of you. We’re all going to be aware and conscious of how other’s respond to us, but don’t let it define you. You define your masculinity.

I’m a cop, have tattoos, work out regularly, have a loaded gun on or near me pretty much all the time, and tend to be considered a pretty masculine guy. Yet, I unapologetically love Disney movies, legitimately enjoy long walks on the beach, and will usually choose sweet and fruity alcoholic drinks if able. I am one of the nerdiest cops you will ever meet, and when my ex girlfriend finally got me to watch The Notebook with her, I teared up at the end. “I think our love can do anything we want it to.” It hits you in the feels!

And the best part is, I still feel manly as hell! Because the essence of masculinity is pursuing a life of passion, of loving deeply and chasing long-shot goals, staying light-hearted and never letting life stop you. Being a man is having cuddle-on-the-couch movie nights with your girl just as much as a night out with the guys. It’s taking time to invest in yourself, having friends and family you’d do anything for. Being a man is having an amazing, hat-wearing tea party with your four year old daughter. And, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Thanks for reading! This blog works in tandem with my YouTube channel of the same name. Feel free to check it out if you enjoy my content here. Come back often for regular updates, and see you next time...

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