How To Develop A Magnetic Personality

When you think of charisma, who do you think of? Robert Downey Jr.? James Bond? Steve Jobs? President Obama? All are superb examples, but a focus on celebrity and the highest echelons of society can leave us feeling like we common folk simply don't have a hope of being so influential and likable. I'm here to tell you it doesn't take a master of social queues or an orator skilled at manipulating the masses to have a magnetic personality and draw everyone around to you. All it takes is the right skillset, and some practice.
Just like any other skill, charisma and likability can be learned. At its core, charisma involves being confident in yourself and investing in other people. It is learning about their lives and families, jobs and hopes for the future. Remembering details and names, to the best of your ability, and asking for updates when you see a given person again lets them know you care. Get to know a persons struggles, hobbies and thoughts on life, and find common ground to build rapport with them. Connect with people, and you will unlock depth and a willingness to share that even surprises them.

Imagine, if you will, a classic film showing a dapper spy or sultry femme fatale. What sorts of qualities would you immediately ascribe to him or her? Alluring, sexy, funny, charming, all legitimate descriptions. Fundamentally, they are all different aspects of charisma. The ability to ingratiate yourself with people, get them to like you and open up before extracting the information needed is precisely what makes for a good spy in such a setting. Yet, teachers, nurses, politicians, parents, managers, everyone can benefit from these skills, and put them to good use. Charisma isn't about manipulating people, it's about using your personality and charm to build as many personal alliances as possible.

So, if caring about people and showing it is the key to charisma, being confident and knowing your stuff is the lock. Being real about yourself, to yourself and others, and being willing to be at least a little bit vulnerable, is critical to people opening up and sharing with you. Humans inherently feel more at ease with a person willing to tell an embarrassing story about themselves or admit a humorous shortcoming, and taking advantage of this universal trait will allow you to develop a connection, however slight, with everyone around you. Leaving people with a positive impression of you, perhaps even a smile on their face, will pay dividends down the road.

Humor is one of the true keys here. Not everyone is born with a knack for making people laugh, but think about those that do. Chris Pratt, Dave Chapelle and Gabrielle Iglesias are all well known as funny and charismatic people because they're relatable and don't seem to take themselves too seriously. Apply this in your own life, as best you can, for maximum results. You don't need to be a professional comic or a celebrity to be funny. Even if you aren't currently gifted in 'making a funny,' working on being a little more self-deprecating when people discuss their own problems will go a long way towards allowing people to feel at ease around you.

Empathy, or identifying with other people and their perspectives, is really what much of this whole message comes down to. Confidence, a sense of humor, remembering details, taking an interest in others, these are all components of a charismatic person. It has long been this way, from ancient Rome to modern America, and will be such for the foreseeable future. No one is perfectly charming, we all have our off moods and days, and that fact can actually be used to boost your overall charm. We're all human, and that's what being likable is all about: tacitly giving people permission to open up about themselves, acknowledge how little we all really have our lives together, and connect with someone for just a little while before walking away with the distinct impression things will be okay.

Practice this, master these traits and qualities, put in the work with people around you, and watch the world open up in ways you'd never expect.

Thanks for reading! This blog works in tandem with my YouTube channel of the same name. Feel free to check it out if you enjoy my content here. Come back often for regular updates, and see you next time...

YouTube channel here.

How To Build Your Self Confidence

Out of every positive personality trait known to mankind, which would stick out to you as being the most important and predictive of future success? Intelligence? Kindness? Adaptability? There are many excellent traits to possess, yet to maximize and truly embody each of your best traits, one must focus on crafting, feeling and showing self-confidence. This is what we will cover today.

One of the most important things to realize about confidence is it's multidimensional, and more than anything, a mindset. Nerds and jocks, men and women, anyone and everyone can achieve confidence in a given area of their life. Confidence comes in two major varieties, inner confidence about who you are as a person, and specific confidence regarding individual skills or actions.

For example, a professional boxer is going to feel much more confident in the ring than a novice, and a competitive archer more so than someone who's never touched a bow. Writing, public speaking, dating, social skills, driving etc. are all examples of things in our lives we can work at to become proficient and feel confident in. The same goes for less common skillsets, like coding or mixed martial arts or archery. Specific confidence requires work, effort, a mastery of skills. As you improve your skillsets in a variety of areas, your overall confidence grows also.

A general or inner confidence, on the other hand, largely comes from working on yourself as a person. Not to be confused with false bravado, true self-confidence comes from being at peace with yourself, wielding your strengths to the best of your ability, and working on your weaknesses to become a more well-rounded person. Acceptance of your flaws, self-love and respect for all the ways you're working to better yourself are keys to becoming your best self.

Struggle with your dating life? Work on it, read up, put yourself in more co-ed environments and push yourself to have conversations with the sorts of people you find attractive. Feel insecure about your body? Work at it, go to the gym, do body weight workouts at home, restructure your eating habits, build muscle tone and definition while trimming the unwanted bits. Concerned about the future of your career? Work on it, go back to school, finish up qualifications and degrees to make you stand out, get training and internships, start your own business, get side-hustles going to bring in additional passive income. The bottom line is: no matter what you're doing or feel insecure about, work at it, one or two priorities at a time, and feel your confidence build ever higher.

Holding yourself high as you walk, swaying your hips or shoulders as you move, chest out and head up, keeping eye contact and actively engaging in conversations, speaking with a deeper, clear and steady voice, dressing in a manner that emphasizes traits you feel good about etc. are all excellent ways to show and express confidence. Project confidence everywhere you go, practice it along with your other desired skills, and over time you'll feel a steady improvement until embodying confidence feels natural to you.

Respecting yourself and others is key to showing true, internal, mature confidence. Take an interest in other people, ask about their lives and families, and see that interest returned to you. Likewise, when people mistreat you, don't be afraid to walk away. One of the key components of calm confidence is refusing to stay in unhealthy environments or around toxic people. Focus on your life, family, career and goals in your day-to-day life. Always be kind and respectful, yet remember what is truly important to you. Balancing these two realms of focus can be tricky at times, but when combined correctly, makes for a very charismatic and charming person.

And, if you struggle with self-love and your own image, consider speaking to someone. Therapy is excellent for talking things out with yourself. The whole point of the ordeal is for a professional to ask questions meant to get one thinking about their struggles, hurts and frustrations, and allow for emotional healing. While not necessary, getting someone to help guid you through the process of working on yourself is not a sign of weakness, but acceptance and strength. It can go a long way in helping you improve your self-worth and confidence.

So, work on yourself, wherever and however that can fit into your life. Improve your weaknesses and emphasize your strengths, and never lose sight of your priorities in life. Walk taller, project yourself more when speaking, don't let others walk over you, and stay calm and respectful as much as humanly possible. Before you know it, you'll be walking around like a regular James Bond.

Thanks for reading! This blog works in tandem with my YouTube channel of the same name. Feel free to check it out if you enjoy my content here. Come back often for regular updates, and see you next time...

YouTube channel here.