How Media Controls The Narrative

It is today well established most of the media outlets in the Western world are sensationalist, driven by viewership and advertising dollars. The idea that wildfires, floods, presidential political drama and grizzly murders are far more likely to make headlines in the daily news cycle than statistics on world peace, advancement in scientific research, or ways people are making their communities better places to live isn’t even remotely surprising to us, even as many bemoan this fact. While local television news stations, small newspapers and many independent media companies are at least attempting to bring people around the world meaningful information, an increasing percentage of Americans, and Westerners as a whole, are obtaining their news fix from 24/7 media giants the likes of CNN, Fox News, and MSNBC.

Such media conglomerates not only focus on the sensational, they set the tone for entire political debates. Built for extreme events such as 9/11 or hurricane Katrina, these entities stretch their reporting when the news cycle runs thin on meaningful content. The result is a host of talk show panels and political pundits, a deep dive into the river of mundane, hyperbolic, highly partisan and hyper-sensationalist rhetoric we’re barraged with in the modern day. They give legitimacy to conspiracy theories before turning them into full witch hunts, willfully overlook blatant corruption from their ideological allies while claiming their opponents are even worse, and use every trick in the book to push their respective agendas.

From the sycophantic rants of Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity, manipulating a misinformed viewership, to the obvious bias of MSNBC, demeaning anything and everything emerging from the Trump administration as a knee-jerk reaction, these networks exist to sell us ideas. Primary media outlets, especially those in America, don’t give us important, unbiased news. They often fail to even give us less important news for the sake of viewership and advertising revenue.

Our largest, most influential media networks sell us propaganda, ideology, a dog-and-pony show to not only distract us from events and decisions which truly matter, but separate us into artificial camps from which we bite and claw at each other relentlessly. While we, the general populous are busy believing our political rivals are enemies, those truly running the show in our country are busy pushing their agendas through well-connected lobbyists and huge corporate donations to collectively strangle and clutch the balls of our government, all while telling us corruption and inefficiency within our government are the real problems.

It’s undoubtedly true there are tens of billions of tax dollars wasted, misused and unaccounted for every single year in the U.S. alone, while political bribery, apathy and self-interest dilutes the ability of even the most well-intentioned politician to make meaningful change. Bureaucracy is notoriously inefficient and lacks responsiveness to the needs or complaints of the public, and many governmental departments doing good work are severely underfunded, while others become bloated due to their political connections. Government isn’t perfect, but the media rarely discusses measures to improve its function. Instead they nearly inevitably take one of two positions on the topic: the government is too big and needs to get out of everyone’s business, or the government should become larger and do more to help the people.

The final result is we wind up in an endless cycle of interchangeable lying and scheming politicians and lobbyists, the shrinking and enlarging of various programs and departments based on who controls the government, vitriolic political debate from network pundits over details ranging from obnoxiously exaggerated to painfully untrue, and continual disillusionment and disinterest in the political process from a large and ever-growing cross-section of the voting population. All of this dysfunction is by no means an accident, nor is it unavoidable. It is a purposeful and deliberate collective control of the national narrative, and we play right along, knowingly or otherwise. There is no single puppet master holding the strings, but a collaborative and adaptive network advocating for the interests of those truly holding the reins of power at any given time.

The good news is, this dysfunction and political theater is entirely escapable. There are plenty of solid, honest journalism endeavors around America and the world. The Economist, Reuters, ProPublica, Allsides, C-SPAN, and others all provide means to pivot away from the charade and indulge in more investigative, true journalism. We also have the option to tune out, to be incredibly selective about our media input generally. Regardless of your preference, being aware of the political reality before you is key. Watch for bias in the media you consume, and at least attempt to hear various sides of a debate before fully forming your own opinion.

When you hear an argument on Fox News or MSNBC, let it register in the back of your mind this is their job, they are attempting to persuade and influence you. It is your job to become as fully informed as possible before allowing them to do so. It’s far too easy and tempting to be lumped into idealogical tribes, to see Republicans or Democrats as the enemy, but reality is far more complex and nuanced than that. The truth is, those attempting to divide us are the enemy. There are real solutions to the many problems we face, and honest discussion of our disagreements to be had. We can take our power back from the billionaire media moguls, self-interested demagogues and corrupt power brokers of today’s world. We can and will figure our issues out together, one step at a time. All it takes is changing the way we think and act. Simple enough.

Thanks for reading! This blog works in tandem with my YouTube channel of the same name. Feel free to check it out if you enjoy my content here. Come back often for regular updates, and see you next time...

YouTube channel here.

The Importance Of Emotional Health

A tale perhaps as old as the human race, romantic relationships tend to be where the most dramatic instances of emotional upheaval and instability unfold in my life. While many of my relationships never became overly serious, or ended on amicable terms, those which went sideways at the end really seemed to go downhill quickly. One of the most notable examples, in my mind, occurred during my relationship with the only woman I've yet truly considered marrying.

Kind, intelligent, charming and beautiful with a great sense of humor, she was exciting and intoxicating beyond belief to me. She was also profoundly compromised emotionally, and really, that’s a kind way of describing the ordeal. The daughter of immigrants, she had been in several very negative relationships before meeting me, often physically and sexually violent, and emotionally abusive in nature. Her parents, while eventually becoming aware of certain aspects of this, encouraged her to keep quiet and work through the emotional trauma on her own, before sending her off to a university far from home. This, as one might imagine, was a supremely poor way for her parents to handle things.

At this far away university, she met myself. The seemingly innocent introduction occurred at a frat party hosted by guys we both knew from school. And as it turned out, she was loosely dating one of the guys in the fraternity. I didn’t possess that particular bit of information yet, and so unabashedly went about talking to and flirting with her as we drank and laughed at people more drunk than ourselves. Our conversation went well, and while my memory got a bit hazy, it’s entirely possible we made out a little bit before her kind-of-boyfriend came over to break it up and attempted to fight me. I ended up simply leaving with my friends, but I already had her phone number, and attention.

Fast forward about a month, and she was all mine. I felt like a raging badass: she made me feel masculine, strong, powerful and desired, and she repeatedly stated she felt just the right kind of pursued, feminine and sexy. So initially, our relationship went incredibly well. We were simply having fun, things were easy, and we enjoyed each other’s company. Being around each other was a much needed and appreciated escape for us both. It was relaxed and cathartic, yet things moved far more quickly than either of us expected.

By the time we had been dating for a year, we were making plans to move in together. I was even beginning to look for an engagement ring and plan out a proposal. Yet, just when our relationship seemed to be at its most promising, things began to slowly deteriorate. The emotional realities of her past began to bubble to the surface of her behavior, and rampant, copious alcohol consumption became a regular response.

Initially, I was confused, as I knew nothing of the darker parts of her past. I was under the impression she simply wasn't happy with me, but she still threw herself into our relationship. Anytime I spoke of slowing things down or taking a break, she nearly had a mental breakdown.

This carried on for months, I felt increasingly stuck and suffocated in the role of emotional support, therapist and pseudo-parental figure all rolled into one. I gradually discovered more about what she had been through: how her exes had mistreated her, how her parents reacted, how the whole thing made her feel dirty, used, unloved and worthless. I honestly tried to be there for her, physically and emotionally present. I wanted so much to help her through the pain.

Yet, despite my repeated recommendations, she refused to speak to anyone, aside from myself, about her lingering issues, and turned ever more to drinking in an effort to dull her inner demons. Before long, in drunken states, she was openly discussing committing suicide. Thus far, she hasn't followed through with such plans.

As I implied earlier, the relationship didn't last. It became far more stressful, draining, heavy, and dark than I was willing to remain in. At the end of the day, I couldn't force her to move forward in health, and refused to let myself remain in such a twisted place with her. Yet to a degree, I still feel guilty about leaving.

Our relationship was a grand production of incongruence: I loved her, and supported her, yet felt disconnected from her for the better part of a year. She loved me, I truly believe it, but she didn't seem to know how to really love herself. Her deepening alcoholism and isolation told me I wasn't very valued, yet when she was with me, she was intensely affectionate. This messed with my head to a degree I couldn’t fully appreciate until I was entirely free of the relationship.

As I told her, the best way to be authentic, happy and content in our lives is to be honest, with yourself first and foremost. Accepting and embracing who you are, every aspect of your past, moving forward in self-acceptance, self-love, and determination to not let previous experiences define you is liberating, and crucial to our mental and emotional health. Talking with someone, going to a professional, is incredibly therapeutic. It allows us to work through issues on our own terms, to talk through things we’d likely continue to mentally ignore and push down until they manifest as a larger problems in our lives.

Keeping a journal, venting to a close friend, talking to a pen-pal online, having brutally honest conversations with ourselves or a loved one who’s passed on, there are many complementary ways we can open up and remain emotionally vulnerable in a safe setting. The effects of emotional trauma and pain are real, and deserve the same sort of care and attention our common physical ailments receive. Don’t let what others have done to you, or decisions in your past, haunt and hurt you any more than they already have. We all need to be real with ourselves, and honestly analyze our lives, thoughts and feelings if we truly want to live our best life.

I hated seeing how the fucked up decisions of others, of selfish and abusive men, were causing such problems in my exes’ life. It wasn’t her fault, she can’t change her past, but she can reclaim her emotional health for the best possible version of her future. She wouldn’t do so while I was with her, but I intensely hope she eventually does. Emotional and physical health, happiness, contentment, these things don’t happen accidentally, but they can be attained with determination and honesty. Little by little, person by person, we can each discover what these concepts mean in our lives, and build a better world in the process.

Thanks for reading! This blog works in tandem with my YouTube channel of the same name. Feel free to check it out if you enjoy my content here. Come back often for regular updates, and see you next time...

YouTube channel here.

Why California Is So Badass

Sleepy little rustic mountain towns, country roads cutting through acre after acre of corn rows, grazing lands and apple orchards, quiet lakeside villages hovering at the edge of expansive forests, chilly seaside ports covered in fog and smelling of fish and seaweed. None of these scenes likely sound at home in California, but they are. And, they’re only taken from the northern portion of the state.

From the sunny, sandy beaches in the south, to the serene forests and rolling hills of the far north, California is a gorgeous state. Striking mountain ranges, expansive desert, rugged coastline, white-sand oceanside towns stretching on for miles, giant redwood forests, and some of the most serene and productive agricultural land in the nation, California is an experience all its own. We are a country within a country, a way of life which has become synonymous with laid-back living, constant optimism and an innovative spirit to match the wild and gorgeous land we call home.

Hosting Silicon Valley and Hollywood, titans in both the technology and entertainment industries, California is so much more than Los Angeles and San Francisco. World class cities worthy of plenty of your attention, they are but the tip of an impressive and expansive iceberg of class and beauty in one of the largest and most ecologically, geographically, economically, culinarily and ethnically diverse states in the US.

Take a relaxed road trip along the 101 highway, enjoying the ocean view and salty sea air in gorgeous settings like Big Sur. Visit the stunning vistas of Yosemite National Park in our rugged Sierra Nevada mountains, surf the gorgeous sun-kissed waves of the San Diego region’s coastline, get lost four-wheeling imposing sand dunes in the Mojave before playing a round or two of golf in one of our many resort towns. From quiet fishing spots in the mountains to bustling, neon-light filled nightlife in LA, California has something for everyone.

We have our problems, undoubtedly. Our state government is heavily encumbered by special interests and voter referendums, and proves time and again to be less efficient than other states. Our taxes and cost of living are higher than average, while our regulations and strong unions tend to make starting and maintaining a business here more difficult than other places in the country. For those who identify as politically or religiously conservative, San Francisco may as well be a living nightmare of backwards values. The state government in Sacramento might be the premiere example of the failures of modern liberal ideology, and the very word California has become an adjective to describe everything seen as wrong with the Left, Democrats and Liberals in America.

Yet, as with so much else, such views are overly simplistic and only part of the equation. We have amongst the highest standards of living in the country, a highly sophisticated and diversified economy which routinely grows faster than the rest of the the US, tying Oregon for highest growth rates in 2016, for example. Strong unions fight for and protect Californian jobs and wages, our public infrastructure is expansive, generally well-maintained and forward thinking with projects like the California High Speed Rail promising to connect two of the largest metropolitan areas in America.

Our social safety net, including tax credits for business, is amongst the most robust in the country, and we possess creative, manufacturing, technology, and entertainment sectors the rest of the world stands in envy of. Our public and private universities routinely make top lists around the world, and modern signatures from the bikini to the theme park were developed or popularized in California.

We are dynamic and relentless, disruptive and always pushing our own boundaries. We are an entire state dedicated to the idea that hard work and creative solutions can benefit everyone around us, and we’ve created a society which has become synonymous with the American Dream. California is and has been one of the fastest growing and changing states, economically and demographically, for decades, and will almost certainly remain this way for years to come.

We’re not perfect by any means, but there are so many reasons why the Great State of California is known, romanticized, envied, copied, and visited by so many around the world, and home to so many in America. There are many other beautiful places to call home, but few with the variety and dynamism California presents. Despite what you may have heard, Californians are by-and-large a friendly, welcoming, accepting, open-minded people, well accustomed to visitors and those newly residing in the state.

So, if you already live here, take pride in your home. Explore it and see all it has to offer. If you’ve never been here, make plans to visit. It is beyond worth it; you will not be disappointed in the variety of food, people, experiences and sights you’ll be able to get lost in while here. I’m extremely biased, but California has a way of doing that to people, once you’re here for a while. The Golden State is a grand, sweeping epic all its own. I love this state, and truly believe you will too. Come find your own badass adventure in the Great American West. Your future self will thank you.

Thanks for reading! This blog works in tandem with my YouTube channel of the same name. Feel free to check it out if you enjoy my content here. Come back often for regular updates, and see you next time...

YouTube channel here.

The Importance Of Being Honest With Yourself

Over three years ago now, I reconnected with an old friend of mine I hadn’t seen in almost a decade. We hit it off instantly, exactly as we had when we were younger. We had overlapping groups of friends, as we found out, and began purposely organizing parties and outings around this fact. She and I began meeting up to grab coffee or lunch every two to three weeks, and it was easy to keep platonic because both of us were in happy relationships dating other people.

A few months into our rekindled friendship, I broke up with my then-girlfriend, but my friend and I were still really getting along well and enjoying each other’s company. We began drinking more together; every so often it was just the two of us. And, things became slightly more complicated.

One night, while her boyfriend was out of town on a job, she and I decided to have a board game night and just hang out. Then, we discovered we had access to a full handle of Fireball whiskey. Next thing you know, I wake up naked next to her, sun obnoxiously bright in my hungover eyes as I piece together a scene of pillows and blankets strewn across the room.

After slightly freaking out about the fact I’d left hickies on her neck, my friend informed me she loved her boyfriend, the night before was a mistake and we should just move on as if nothing had happened. I agreed, she left in a hurry, and we left it there. At least, we left it there for a while.

A few months go by and everything is going well. We’d still hangout with the same friends, meet every so often to catch up, and hit up a bar or party with the crew on the weekends. It was a damn good time, but cracks in our plan began to show. My friend started to confide in me some of the problems she was having with her boyfriend, and telling me about fights they were having with increasing regularity. She began turning towards me when things went wrong in her life, and as one with just the slightest hint of a hero complex, I obliged her.

Friends began making jokes about how I should, “just finish stealing her already,” and her boyfriend began to ever-so-slightly ostracize me from events they hosted or organized. This irritated me, and I flatly denied any interest in her or desire to break up the relationship. Yet, this wasn’t entirely true. Even while I attempted to deceive myself and others, I was falling for her, harder than I’d ever expected. I found her dynamic and captivating, and I’m definitely one to want what I can’t have. This proved dangerous for us both.

Towards the beginning of the summer, once again while her boyfriend was out of town for work, my friend and I decided to go on a day trip to Yosemite. We had a blast, and found our way to getting some alcohol on the way up, making it even better. After a long day I convinced her to just crash at my place, and we found some more alcohol. I feel like I don’t even need to explain what else happened that night.

The next morning, however, neither of us freaked out or said it was a mistake. She didn’t hurriedly cover up hickies with makeup and leave, or even tell me she still loved her boyfriend. She stretched and woke up lazily, rolled over to face me, wrapped her arms around my neck, and softly met her lips to mine. I smiled and kissed her back, but in that moment it really hit me exactly what I was doing, what I had done, and how I was becoming the very man I always told myself I wouldn’t be.

In less than a month, and after some notable drama, my friend and her boyfriend had broken up, and she came to live with my family and I for a few months. I lost several friends in the ordeal, and it created some issues with others which linger to this day. To top it all off, my friend and I never even dated. We both acknowledged we had feelings for each other, but I was not interested in being a rebound, and she was sleeping with other men within three weeks of moving in with my family. So while I intended to give her time to work through things, in her mind she was trying to goad me into making a move, which I didn’t even know about until much later.

We got into a number of arguments over those months, and it became increasingly clear we really weren’t good for each other. We knew how to have fun together, but most of our interactions were based on our chemistry and attraction, often while under the influence anyways, and little else. In the end, neither of us got what we wanted, and by the time she moved out, we were no longer overly close. Just like that, everything which felt so intense; so real and almost destined, fell apart before our eyes. We picked up what remained of our friendship and continued on for a while, but we were both quickly in relationships with other people.

We slowly drifted apart over the next year or so, and after one final argument, I ended things entirely. With one conversation, I disconnected myself from a woman I had once tried so hard to keep in my life, and gone so far out of my way to remain close to. I had considered her one of my close friends, yet in the end I only wanted it to be over. And I didn’t regret my decision to end things at all. I felt free, and still do.

There are a number of points I hope you can take from this story. First of all, don’t be that asshole that gets between people in relationships. Don’t use friends and social events to implement this ‘getting between’ your object of affection and their significant other, and fully realize the terrible potential of alcohol in the hands of a handsome madman. Most of all, though, be real with yourself. Be honest with yourself about how you feel, where you’re at and what’s important to you. Be frank with yourself about how much various people mean to you, feelings you may have for them, and what you’re willing to lose and risk to get what you want. Be real with yourself about who you want to be, and do your best to not sink below your own standards.

I don’t regret rekindling the friendship, or developing feelings for her, nor ending the friendship years later. Yet, I would change a number of the decisions I made in between, choices which hurt other people, and I can’t take them back. So, if there’s one thing you get out of this: avoid actions which compromise who you want to be, your ideal self, to the best of your ability, and you will be well on your way towards living your best life.

Thanks for reading! This blog works in tandem with my YouTube channel of the same name. Feel free to check it out if you enjoy my content here. Come back often for regular updates, and see you next time...

YouTube channel here.